It's good enough to read and understand the parts that aren't conveyed by the images, which is all that is really necessary. Looking back at the first couple pages, I actually prefer some of your lines to moonspeaker's. Your translation isn't bad, many of the changes that were made were superflous playing around with the word choice and phrasing.
The rest were just corrections of typos, which could have been fixed with a bit of proofreading. That's why some scan groups have QC / editors, because it's easier to spot mistakes on something you haven't personally been working on.
I can't comment on the accuracy of any of the translations. Where I saw and corrected issues boiled down to three things... typos, plurality, and tense. Nothing major.
