I started to try something new, but I kept failing even part-time job interviews. Even after just barely getting a job at a store, I couldn't even handle basic customer service... The manager called me an incompetent doctor. I collapsed from hyperventilating and was fired.Hey, Azu,why didn't you get a job in the surface world?So I could meet you here.It was difficult to do experiments and think... I thought it would be impossible for me to face a life of biochemistry.Boring. I don't care anymore.......I didn't have the talent to make it as a researcher.I lost my confidence when I was berated for my lack of skill in the lab and at academic conferences.I can't stand the contradiction of trying to sell myself when I don't feel I have any value in the first place.Even though I kept being called a disgusting and useless person, I thought I could become someone if I worked hard. But there are no awards for effort in life.I thought I could start over in my 20s, but... I haven't done anything... but study...There's nothing else... I can do...Even if I go in for an interview... They'd just treat me as if I were an old man...That's enough, I get it. I'm sorry.I liked research and was proud of being fairly good at only studying.
