This is my first time editing something. Feel free to point out mistakes or aspects I can improve on.

• Spell check. I see "taht", "mose", and "you're life" in panel 2 alone.
• Give text that's not on a white background a white 'halo' to make it easier to read. In GIMP, you can do this with Text to Selection, Grow Selection (by 2 or 3 pixels), then the Paint Bucket on a lower layer. (I think there is an even easier way to do this using Photoshop, but I don't recall what it is.)
• Don't post translation edits on Danbooru. Not that they're not worthwhile; they just don't get accepted very often, especially when the original is already available and soft-translated using the note system.

• For photoshop, to add the white 'halo' glasnost mentioned, rasterize the text, click edit > stroke
• Use a different font for the text outside of bubbles.
• Keep the text centered in the bubble and don't let the text touch the bubble's outline.
• Try to shape the text to the bubble, hyphenate words if you have to, just use your own judgement on how much and where to hyphenate.

You don't need to rasterize text in Photoshop to add a stroke.

Terrifying indeed.

This has ruined the characters so much. Thank you Reporter Komeiji.